One of my favorite college lacrosse coaches has a saying, "Service makes you powerful, gratitude makes you invincible." Upon returning home from the 2012 European Championships where I had the opportunity to play for Team Israel, a friend of a teammate told me about an organization called Harlem Lacrosse and their desire to find experienced volunteers. Grateful for what the sport had afforded me; the opportunity to connect with my Israeli roots, and the chance to travel around Europe playing the game I loved - I figured an afternoon of service helping at one practice for the middle school lacrosse team at Frederick Douglass Academy was a fair trade off.
It only took me 20 minutes on that handball court at 148th street to realize this was not going to be my only practice with Harlem Lacrosse. Observing these incredibly talented, bright and athletic kids slinging the ball and their bodies around this tight little area of blacktop with second hand equipment, I realized how much I had taken the game for granted. Sure, I worked hard at times over the course of my career. I certainly remember the extra effort required within championship seasons in high school and college and either playing through or overcoming injuries was hard. However, I never remember truly "struggling." At the very least, I never felt alone or unsupported. Being a kid from Jericho, Long Island and going on to play sports at schools like Drew University and Emory University - the path had been carved and all I had to do was follow it; which I did, at almost a comically ginger and lethargic pace. That said, I knew Harlem Lacrosse was not only my opportunity to make good on being an underachiever at every level I played the game, but ultimately to also do my little part to make the world a better place.
After spending the full 2012-2013 school year at FDA Middle School and helping launch Harlem's second school site at P.S. 149, I decided to spend the next year as an assistant coach at my high school alma mater in Nassau County. I wouldn't say it was a failure, but it wasn't a success. At the end of that season I put my hand on my old coach's shoulder, looked him in the eye and said "I'm going back to Harlem because those kids give a shit." It was a somewhat of hypocritical statement because if anything, that spring reminded me of just how much I accomplished without giving much of a shit.
I'd spend the next two years as a special assistant to the high school program at Frederick Douglass Academy, helping a large group of kids that should have left the city for boarding school as 8th graders, but didn't for family reasons. Ultimately, I'd see and help a lot of those kids into Post Graduate situations after getting their diplomas in Harlem and now they are all playing college ball; a handful at some really good Division I schools.
In the fall of 2017, I moved to Denver Colorado and took a coaching and administrative position with DoCo Team 91. I was fortunate to fall into a role where I'd primarily work with rising 9th graders from Cheery Creek High School as well as an advanced group from Denver City Lax. I had the best of both worlds out West but when my dad died in the spring of 2018, it was time to come home.
Harlem Lacrosse was extremely supportive when my dad passed away. In addition to phone calls and emails, staff came to my house after the funeral to clear out pounds of lacrosse gear from my mom's basement which would have created obstacles in the sale of our home.
Upon getting re-settled in the city, I designed a program with Harlem and the HR staff of my full-time employer to help the boarding school and post graduate eligible students on their interview skills. In two years, my company has had a 100% success rate with over 30 student athletes.
When the interview event for this school year concluded, I figured I was on easy street and the universe was rewarding me for my deeds. Above all else, after experiencing so much instability in my own adult life, I finally felt solid for the first time in a long time. Secondly, after dreaming of announcing lacrosse games on ESPN since I was 14 years old, I got the call before Thanksgiving that I would be the color commentator for Colgate-Princeton game on February 18th.
That's right, life felt so comfortable to me, it was almost uncomfortable. After a cake walk of a childhood, and a shit storm of a young adulthood I felt strong, and almost at peace at the end of 2019, but not quite. In the first week of December I was handed two special Harlem Lacrosse projects. Project 1: A student athlete I hardly knew was being pulled back to war-torn Algeria by his family. He had one interview, at one boarding school to literally save his life and his file ended up on my desk. Project 2: A student athlete who I knew since my first day in Harlem was sent to a college in Texas with no lacrosse team by his family against his will. He didn't exactly fail out, but when he produced a GPA under a 3.0 his first semester, his parents to brought him back to New York City with doubt that he could ever be successful without their supervision. It then became my duty to help this second kid find a a Division III SUNY College where he could play lacrosse, receive his degree and reach all of his potential.
One thing that I learned about myself is that I could turn stress into fuel if engineered the right way and I knew these challenges were both important and intertwined. I'm not a very religious or spiritual person but whether it's g-d's will, my father's legacy or all of the cool spiritual connections that makes lacrosse what it is, I know I am being tested. I've felt in the the core of my heart, bones and every muscle in my body for the last month; If the universe wanted to see me live my dream of announcing a lacrosse game on ESPN, it will not be before these two young lives are saved.
Like most things in life, project number one was daunting but became a lot easier once we got started. In a two-hour power session, I met a kid who moved to Harlem in middle school not knowing a word of english and certainly not knowing what lacrosse was. He became a beast defenseman, but his transcripts were an epic disaster. When this young man's mom decided she wanted to raise his little sisters back in the Middle East, we would have one shot to create a a compelling narrative to a boarding school admissions counselor so he could stay here. When this young man and I first sat down, the look in his face was hopeless and scared. A few hours later, it was like being with a totally different, more confident person. I think everyone left my office that day knowing he was going to nail that interview and get that scholarship.
The second situation was more familiar because I've known the student athlete for almost eight years now and I am fortunate to have connections to lacrosse coaches at almost every SUNY school. However, this project was going to be a lot more than a single 2-hour strategy session. It was going to require research, and outreach, and scheduling and then all the little things that go into presenting the best version of ones self when trying to earn a spot on a team, or get a job. For the last three weeks I've had this kid or one of the coaches that's recruiting him on the phone for at least an hour everyday and I honestly love every second of it. This kid, is extremely intelligent, kind, talented and deserving - some of these coaches are friends of mine that could really use a two-way midfielder like him on the field and an altruistic person like him off of it.
By the end of this week, kid number one will be getting ready for one last high school lacrosse season in Harlem and then prepare to hug his family goodbye and move to Pennsylvania this summer for boarding school. Kid number two should have full sign off from his parents on his recruitment process and we should hopefully narrow down a list that currently includes Purchase, New Paltz, Oneonta, Plattsburgh and Geneseo. Finally, I'll have hopefully completed one game as a lacrosse analyst on ESPN by the end of this week...and then we start working on a new life goal: Announcing a lacrosse game on ESPN that my Harlem Lacrosse kids are playing in.
I feel empowered with each of my attempts to give back to this great sport with acts of service. The gratitude I feel from all that the game has given to me, most importantly a platform to change the world and become a better person; that can never be taken away from me and for that I feel invincible and so should every Harlem Lacrosse kid I ever coach or mentor.