U Gotta Read the Footnotes!
March 2021
In order to adequately discuss the ideation, formation, and coronation of the Gotham Goats, we had to go to two sources: The Goatfather himself, founder Charlie Davidson, as well as player/manager, full-time captain, FOSO[1] specialist, and SoulCycle enthusiast Jim Wiederhold. Rather than try to get them to write something, we asked them to interview each other about the Goats. This is the only sensical part of what was over seven hours of an audio fever dream.
Jim Wiederhold: Hi Charlie
Charlie Davidson: Hi Jim. Your hair looks great.
JW: Thanks, I find personal grooming to be of the utmost importance, especially during the pandemic. I think we should start at the beginning. Tell me a little bit about how the Goats came to be.
CD: I was just one of many post-collegiate lacrosse players who couldn’t find a proper team or league to play for and found that ice hockey and darts leagues weren’t filling the void left behind by competitive lacrosse. It was on a weekend trip to the Hudson Valley when I was bitten by a radioactive goat and was transformed, willingly though not intentionally, into what would become the Goatfather. At the time, I was still young - just a kid, you might say - and just wanted to ball. I collected a few other former teammates from Williams College , some aging Yale alumni, and a handful of other miscreants, and joined the brand new ULAX league.
JW: I always interpreted the Goat scripture differently. In the original translation, it seems as though the Great Goat told the Virgin Charlie that he would bear a handsome son named James who would bear the word of Goat into the world, recruiting into the fold from all Equinox gyms in the tristate area.
CD: It’s an interesting take on the origin story, but it actually began out of desperation to play within the borough of Manhattan. James the Son did not actually appear until 2008 when Charlie was wandering in the desert[2].
JW: Where did the radioactive Goat come from?
CD: Out of freaking nowhere! I was doing a training run at Bear Mountain, ironically, and this wild-eyed yet majestic Goat charged its way onto the path in front of me. Its hooves and horns were gleaming as the sun raked the valley. It charged at me full-tilt, but stopped suddenly millimeters from making contact. It made no noise except for its even breathing, but it spoke to me - directly into my mind.
JW: What did it say?
CD: It told me I needed to give up distance running and return to my hometown where I would start a new team named for him and his kind. I would run the team in a manner befitting a Goat: fairly, intelligently, and with a predilection for eating trash. Then he asked me for some alfalfa pellets, which I didn’t have on me, and that’s probably why he bit me.
JW: Trash-eating is really a core component of being and playing as a Goat. It has become our rallying cry, aside from yelling “MAAAAH”.
CD: Yes, you’ve done an amazing job instilling the team with that sense of Goat pride. Let’s talk more about trash-eating.
JW: Eating trash means doing the things that need to get done to win. Trash is ground-balls. Trash is riding and clearing. Trash is two-slides and a tidy box. Eating trash means you’re going to do whatever it takes to help your team win.
CD: It’s a noble concept. Goats are remarkably agile and strong, but it’s their adaptability and resourcefulness that make them superior.
JW: That’s right. In fact, think of all the ways in which the Goats have won games. We’ve won with pro players, but also no subs. Since the beginning, we’ve made it work, with attackmen picking up long poles, long poles playing goalie, and midfielders playing tireless ironman lacrosse, and even facing off despite the presence of one of the greatest faceoff midfielders ever who flatly refused to crouch over the X for us.[3] That’s’ the heart of the Goats.
CD: You know, the first game the Goats ever played, September 30, 2007, was a game that was decided by a Braveheart. The Goats tied the game in the waning minutes. We lost the overtime Braveheart faceoff but our goalie made the save and our Braveheart midfielder (who had thrown up at halftime), rallied for a second time to go coast-to-coast. We should have known since day one that we were destined to be the oldest, most storied, most celebrated team in the oldest, most storied, most celebrated league, in the greatest city on planet Earth[4].
JW: That story would have given me chills but Goat hair is extremely warm.
CD: Jimmy, why don’t you tell me about your time with the Goats. You joined just as I went on a personal journey. I returned to find the Goats stronger than ever.
JW: I am thrilled to hear you say that. Before joining the Goat herd, I ran with a skulk of Red Foxes from Poughkeepsie, NY, which we all know is the hometown of Snookie. One fellow Red Fox asked if I wanted to trade in my fluffy white-tipped tail for a majestic set of horns. So I changed species and quickly learned the Gotham Goats of New York were destined for Greatness of All Time. The Gotham Goat is built for power and longevity. With my former fox eyes, I’ve been able to track down new Goats who display these power and longevity traits and convince them to join our herd of men.
CD: It’s true. We forgot to add that on top of all of your other titles and duties, you are also the Goats’ lead scout and head of player development. You really brought the Goats from a small band of scrappy yet determined players into the title-claiming World Champion team that they are today.
JW: There is the game itself, the Great Goat, and the Gotham Goats.The team is the third point of contact. As we all know, tripods sustain the most stability against outward forces.
CD: We’ve been given the opportunity to continue playing the greatest game on the greatest team in the greatest city. It’s not widely known that the name Gotham, a nickname for New York, means “Goat Town”.
JW: Well, it is the greatest, just as the Goats are the greatest.
CD: We’ve played against some excellent teams over the years, but the Goats are the only team that has stood the test of time.
JW: There aren’t too many teams out there that claim they’ve spanned four different presidential administrations. That’s longer than most pro field lacrosse teams.
CD: That’s true. We’ve only lasted for two Canadian Prime Ministers, but everyone knows Harper didn’t deserve his last term. Funny you should mention pro teams. We’ve gotten some flak for having the occasional pro player on our roster, but they were all Goats first. Personally, I’m proud that they bring their caprine ways to a larger audience.
JW: I’ve been in the room during contract signings with virtually every Goat/pro, and every one of them have said that if they can’t play for the Goats, they’ll walk from their pro contract. Anyway, the Goats give them something that no other team can.
CD: No salary and only an occasional bar sponsorship?
JW: I was going to say history, a sense of place, and lifetime membership. Those other things are fleeting and not really becoming of the Goat ethos. Though we do love the bar sponsorships. Goats don’t seek glory.[5] Goats spend more time together off the field than they do on the field - it’s what makes us such a tight herd.
CD: That’s true - we have all the major Goat holidays: Goatsgiving, Goatsmas, and football season. I hosted Goatsgiving at my house just before the pandemic and I really miss those get-togethers. Granted, I miss playing too, but Goats can get sick, just like normal people can so we have to stay vigilant before we can get together again for lasagna and light beer.
JW: I’m looking forward to tournaments again too. While the Gotham Goats name doesn’t travel beyond leagues in and around the city, we’ve all played on tournament teams for years, starting with the Salt Shakerz.
CD: The Salt Shakerz were a force for good in the world. CJ Greene deserves a shoutout not only for the money he raised and donated for breast cancer research, but also for the way he spread the love of lacrosse, and gave us all a team to travel with. Many a Shaker shed his pink helmet and gloves for the Goats green come ULAX season. The Salt Shakerz ethos of “Good guys on and off the field” really jibes with Goat culture. We welcome all Goats willing to put the team first, regardless of who they are, or where they come from[6]. Whenever the world and lacrosse start again, we’ll be ready. If anything, the past year has given me time to heal from past injuries and realize what’s important to me. The Goats are top of that list[7].
JW: Nothing gives me greater happiness than sending that weekly email before a game to make sure a bunch of unresponsive but supremely athletic lacrosse players will show up on a Sunday rain or shine, well-rested or standing on the sideline in street clothes because they didn’t sleep at home and are waiting for their roommate to show up with their gear but he’s late too because they were at the same party last night[8].
CD: It’s a tale as old as time. Well, thanks for your time, Jim. And thank you for being a majestic steward of the Goats. I can’t wait to get back out there.
JW: Me neither. Being a Goat is, without a doubt, the greatest honor of my life.
CD: Mine too.
2021 ULAX NYC Spring Championship
U Gotta Read the Footnotes!
[1] Face-off, Stay on
[2] Dallas, TX
[3] It’s Eck. We’re talking about Chris Eck.
[4] If you thought it was anywhere other than New York, you need to get out more. Not now. Stay home now. And wear a mask.
[5] Except for the occasional attackman
[6] Even New Jersey
[7] Please don’t let my wife read this
[8] Anonymous member of Tufts University’s first ever national championship team
Maah. @gothamgoats
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Summer 2007 (The Beginning)
September 30, New York, NY - uLax 07 is under way. Against the onslaught of Full Frontal, a team stacked with recent Nova and Lehigh grads, the Gotham GOATs entered as underdogs, unsure of the level of competition in the new league. As the game began, both teams scraped off the rust for the opening minutes, sweating out the previous night's mistakes and remembering how to throw again after months and, in some cases, years of inactivity and substance abuse.
Full Frontal struck first, keeping GOAT goalkeeper Matt Rade busy and climbing to an early lead in the first half. The GOAT offense had difficulty locating the net, only getting one between the pipes (and under that pesky crossbar) before half-time.
The GOATs maintained their positivity entering the second half and the midfield, led by the gritty play of Brian O'Connor and Peter Vecchio, inspired the offense to test the FF d-unit. Hustle paid off as Jeff Koegel's shifty ball-carrying, coupled with the lanky strides of the brothers Wilbur, helped power the ball into the net. Rade stymied the Full Frontal assault, and the GOATs tied the game at 5 with just a few minutes left to play. The GOATs continued to pressure the FF defense, maintaining possession and winding the clock down for the last two minutes. At the final horn, the overtime format was decided: Braveheart. Without missing a beat, Billy Kelly stepped up to the face-off circle and guaranteed victory, despite his halftime "weight reduction" technique, and the professional gear worn by his opponent.
FF won the face-off, drawing the ball backwards. Kelly dropped down to the non-existent restraining line, and awaited the charge. The shot was saved by Rade and Kelly broke out to catch the feed from his keeper. The FF player simply could not find his legs as Kelly jogged down the length of the field, approached the goal, and deked the keeper with a series of dips, finally dunking the ball over his shoulder.
Nice win, boys, that was some fun. I heard that Full Frontal was the best team in the league. Not anymore.
@gothamgoats